I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
