real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
