there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i've created a new STD.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
