Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
