yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
