i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize