please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
