By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your shirt... Was in my pants
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
