3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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