Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
