do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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