I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
