How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The adults are the big ones right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize