I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
