I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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