Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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