You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize