youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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