i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
