I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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