hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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