Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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