We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
we should paint friendship bongs
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