So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
