i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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