i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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