This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
