saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
