I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
