What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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