You did not just play the dead husband card again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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