i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
