Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
