I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
