But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
