awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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