Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
