My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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