She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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