We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
