isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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