Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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