Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
