We won't sleep together?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize