I think I died a long time ago.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You were trust falling into bushes
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
