Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sext me about skeletons
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
