I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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