If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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