So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
