That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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