There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
