Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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