There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
