Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
