Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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