By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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