I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
