I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
