listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
