ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
