2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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