I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
