if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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