This is not my ceiling
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize